What is On Jeffs' Mind

An update on my 2012 resolutions for the month of February

My exercising has been coming along alright after the original set back from earlier in the year. I have been able to do this more regularly the past few weeks, and starting to mix a few things more into it. For the most part I have been riding the exercise bike, but I have added some walking into my routine as well. The exercise bike I feel I have slowly been pushing the intensity up on it, so I am hoping if I keep riding the bike on a regular schedule that I can start to see some more results. I have started longer walks as well, I did a lunch time walk on Friday, and then I have done two early morning walks. I am hoping the weather stays mild as I think if I can keep these regular, I can also push up the speed that I am walking. I feel that I am walking a good distance, as my morning walks take me 35 minutes or so, and I cover a lot of ground. If I keep at them for the next few months, maybe by spring I might be able to jog or run for part of it. I want to build up the strength in my legs, so that I would be able to handle it. The walks must be doing something as my body aches a bit today, so I have hit some muscles that I haven’t used for a bit, so I am happy about that. I also planning to add some more stretching into my routine as well.

My Star Wars vintage figure resolution is coming along well also. This month I won off eBay a Hoth Rebel Soldier. Again, not a figure at the top of my list, but one that I did not have, or if condition that I felt was in great shape to be displayed. I got it for a decent enough price, so happy about that. I had won another auction for a Bespin Han, but oddly enough, all I received was the gun for him. I had sent out an email to the seller to ask if the the figure will be coming. Truthfully, I was more interested in the gun, since I already have a Bespin Han that I received from a friend a few years ago, so it means more to me.  Also looking at the pictures, it is in better condition then the auction I won, so the gun completes him. So if the actual figure never comes, I will probably not be to upset, since what I won the figure for was not much, and with the gun, I have a complete Bespin Han already. I am looking forward to next month and what I can find. There is a toy show right at the start of the month, so I am hoping possibly I can find a figure locally, to mix things up from doing the eBay route. Also I am hopeful if my bonus from work this year is decent, I might have some extra money to go after one of the more expensive figures I need. This is definitely my favorite resolution for 2012.

some resolutions that still need more of my attention.

I did clean out a lot in my office, when I was off for a few days a few weeks back. I still have more to do, notable the basement. I am hoping that when I take some time off in a few weeks, I can tackle that a bit more of the basement and get some more things cleaned up.

My Podcasting is still not there yet, I did figure out some issues with my mixer, so I am hoping I am close to recording again. I sold my Mac Mini a few weeks back, and I have found another program that will allow me to enhance my Podcast on the PC.  So I need to get focused again on my collecting podcast, pick a topic, and start going on it. The Mixer really did take the wind out of my sails, if I was in a better position financially, I would sell it and get something else, and still might do that, but will see.

My Model building is still out there as well. I got the idea to build up my workspace down stairs so that it will have everything I need. Slowly I am building that up, the big thing right now is getting a new computer for the basement. I had my eye on laptop, but after looking for awhile, just nothing really impressed me in the price range I wanted to spend. I am now thinking that since I sold my Mac Mini, I will replace that with a newer one that is wireless. But I have been holding off, as I am not certain when they will be releasing a new version. I still have memory from the last Mac Mini I bought, and how a month or two after they came out with a wireless one. I don’t want the same thing to happen again, so I am taking a bit of a wait and see attitude to see if something new gets released in the next few months.

My reading is not going anywhere right now, I am thinking I might have to either set some time for myself each day to read, or pick a new book that will really grab me. I find I still spend a lot of wasted time each day, that I could be reading. So I am going to have to figure out where I can fit it in, as I know I have time, just pushing myself to do so.

So hopefully if I keep myself more accountable through these updates, that when I get to the end of the year, I will have more successes then failures in the terms of resolutions.

Tags: collectibles, Exercising, Resolutions 2012

Yesterday, I had the day off from work. I had to work extra hours this week, so it worked out well, as I was able to do something I was not able to do nearly 13 years ago.

I was able to go and see Star Wars Episode 1 the Phantom Menace on opening day. This time around, it was in 3D. When it originally came out, I could not go opening day, as at the time I was busy at work, and a few other things happening that did not allow me to go first day. Being a big Star Wars fan, that always ate at me a little bit, so I have corrected that

I went with my Dad and two nephews, and had a good time. Epsiode 1 is what it is, and I know that a lot of people really dislike this movie. I will admit, that if I rank all the Star Wars movies, this one would be at the bottom of my list, as it can get a bit slow at times, and doesn’t have the best pacing. But to me, the movie does really setup what the Star Wars universe was, on a greater scale then the Original Trilogy ever did. I am a big Star Wars fan as stated, so I like to do the “Deep Dive” so to say into the who Star Wars universe. This movie gives a person plenty to get into, like myself, who wants to be immersed into that universe. I am really looking forward to the other movies coming out. The 3D in the movie was alright, I don’t think it will ever be a showcase 3D, but it was well applied in my opinion, and added some depth to the scenes. I guess maybe in the end, the 3D was more just a vehicle to get Star Wars back onto the big screen. I am amazed, that a movie that a lot of people pan, that 13 years after the fact, it still can get released into the theatre again. There are plenty of Academy Award winning movies that would not be able to be released 13 years after the fact, even some of the big blockbusters from the past few years, could not even get released again.

When I got home, I had something cool waiting for me at the Post Office. The next in the series of Star Wars Kubricks was released. I had ordered this set a few weeks ago, and had been anticipating it for some time. It was Deluxe series 4, which included 6 figures and a build up figure of the Probe Droid. I think what got me the most excited, was the vintage style figures they released. In the last series they released a Vintage Style Obi-Wan, and now they released 3 more. A Vintage Vader, Princess Leia and Tie Fighter Pilot. Also they released a R2-D2, Captain Antilles and Imperial Dignitary. So this morning I opened then up and assembled my Probe Droid. So now I have to find some space on my shelf for them. I am thinking I might separate my vintage style figures from the rest. I also included my 3D glasses in the picture from the movie yesterday.

Tags: Captain Antilles, Darth Vader, Imperial Dignitary, Princess Leia, Probe Droid, R2-D2, Star Wars Episode 1, Star Wars Kubricks, The Phantom Menace, Tie Fighter Pilot

On Wednesday, Feb 8, 2012 Bell in Canada supported a day called Let’s Talk. It was a day to bring awareness to Mental Health and Depression. Throughout the day I followed on Twitter a lot of inspiring tweets and blog posts of people sharing about their depression. I think what I took out of it, was that people suffering from this are not alone, and to find a person to talk to about it. In the spirit of the day, I sought out some people to talk to about my own battles with depression and to share with them theirs. I think by the end of the day, I had a very hopeful feeling. Like I said, I took time to read peoples posts on their depression, talk with others and also reflect on how I handle my own.

In the evening, I watched a great documentary on CTV/TSN hosted by Michael Lansberg. In the documentary he shared about his own struggles with depression, which I felt took a lot of courage to do so. There was one scene near the end of the documentary, that really resonated with me, not many words were spoken, but I could feel it, as I have felt it. Michael was talking with Mick Foley and Roddy Piper on his show, and at a break, he got up to take a break and walk away, just that little moment is one that I have had many times, and could sense what he felt at that time.

The documentary also really hit home with me as they talked to Stephane Richer former NHLer, Darryl Strawberry former MLBer and Clara Hughes a Gold Medal winning Olympic Athlete. It really did show to me, that people could look to have everything, but still depression is there, and they have struggles. They talked about an emptiness inside that cannot be filled, and I have felt that, they talked about being on top after winning and still cannot feel joy of the success, I felt that as well. It was a real powerful documentary, and meant a lot to me to see people struggling with the same things I do. I commend all those brave people for having the courage to be on the documentary and share with everyone else. I encourage people to watch this show, I think it is well worth it. It is called Darkness and Hope .

I have to admit, I am a bit nervous to write this post, as it is hard to admit to others my depression. I was talking with a friend during the day, there is still a stigma about depression, where a person is viewed of as weak, so why I was so inspired by the people who shared about theirs. To see people talking about it, and having the same feelings as I did, really did show me that this is a disease. This is something I have struggled with for years, it has flared to near intolerable levels 3 or 4 times in my life. Once in my teens where I actually did think of suicide, but a well timed call from a friend was able to draw me back. Another time in my first year of a new job, where it led to me breaking down in my managers office as the pressures of work overwhelmed me. Then the most recent time, which was a few years ago, where a difficult software upgrade at work pushed me to the brink, when it was done I went through months of post traumatic stress, and not really sure if I ever fully recovered from it.

But I think what is the most maddening for me, is that daily depression, the one that lays in the weeds, not enough to send you totally over board into despair, but enough that it holds you back from doing what you want in life. The type where by the time you get home from work, you don’t have energy or desire to really pursue what you want in life. The depression that always acts as a wall between myself and the life I want, causes me to doubt and second guess. Even this blog post took me a few days to write after the fact. But inspired by the brave people I saw on Bell Lets Talk day, I decided to write this. To beat this stigma of depression, I think more people like myself need to share and not be so afraid of what other might think. The day has shown me there are more people out there who go through depression and can help.

Tags: Bell Lets Talk Day, Darkness and Hope, Depression