What is On Jeffs' Mind

I have not really slept well for the past few days, so some of my thoughts may partly be because I have not really had a real solid sleep. Laying on the couch this morning, my mind was thinking about all the things in my life that I haven’t been able to put as much of myself into as I would like. Recently I have been focused on a Sharepoint migration at work, and it has chewed up a lot of my time on the weekends, but it really just goes deeper then one project or application. Last week, I had to take some time off to balance out my work week, since policy changes at where I work will only compensate us for 40 hours. You can work more then 40 hours, and I am sure the company would like that very much, but you will not get any additional pay, or the ability to bank the hours for use later. Even though I was off, I still felt burdened, I was thinking, what were others thinking of me for being away, well there was still so much to do, I was thinking about the long hours this weekend is bringing, and just thinking about how tired I felt.  My job weighs so heavy on my mind, and I am frustrated that it does, as it shouldn’t.

I was thinking about all the things in my life that I haven’t been able to put more into, and made me feel sad.

My Family: Last night I went over to my parents for my nephews 6th birthday, I had been working all day, and I was not able to wrap his present properly. I felt bad for that, as he deserved better then that. I knew he would just rip it off quickly, but it was something small that I wasn’t even able to do. Also my mind was not really there, as I was lost in thought about the problems of the day, and what we will be doing today. I think of all the times over the past few years, when I was not there for my family, because at times I placed work ahead of my family. It was not something that I wanted to do, but I did in the end, and I truly regret that.

My Marriage: I am not as attentive to my Wife as I should be. We seldom go out, and many times even when I am not working, I am tired or I have work weighing on my mind. There have been times over the past few years, where she has gotten the short end of the stick, as again, I have placed the wants of my job ahead of her. A few years ago, we went on a weekend trip to Banff. Shortly before we left, I was informed that I needed to execute a change. So We had to rush back early from the trip so that I could do the work. She never truly got to enjoy that weekend in the mountains as we were there, and then we were gone. This summer, her mother came to visit, which was a busy time since we also moved. They went on a few trips, but I was never able to accompany them, as I was working. The one trip I did take them on to Jasper, was a one day trip, again, in and out, no real time to check things out. I recall we did see some great things, like some awesome waterfalls and watching some people cliff diving, but all to short and brief as needed to get back.

My Friends: I have some great friends, both local and non local, but I never spend as much time as I would like with them. A few weeks ago I spent some time with my good friend Dave. I had not seen him in awhile, and I called him up as I needed some help with picking up some building supplies, and then the following day for help when my TV broke. He was there to help me out, and the time I got to spend with him I really enjoyed. My other friends as well I have not spent much time, the two Jason’s I have not seen very much of, it has been a long time since I met up with my friend Donald. My friend Jason from Calgary is always asking for people to come down and visit, and I have not done that in so long, as usually every weekend I have committed myself to some sort of work. My friend Jason who is local, as mentioned going out for something to eat, and I have missed the last few times since always seems to be something with work.

I also have a great group of friends online, and I have seen all the great fun things they have done. But over the past few years, all I really have done is stand on the sidelines and watched, never contributing anything to the endeavors that they are doing. Some of what they have done, were things I was very interested in, but due to the time I was putting into my job, I have never participated in them. I look back, and that was a wrong choice, even if I did not have a lot of time, I should have contributed, as I think it would have been very good for me. I am grateful for my friend Rick, who I email regularly, we had a great chat on Friday, and I wish we would do those more, as we talk about a lot of fun and interesting things. I also exchanged some emails earlier in the week with my friend Dan, and talked about some shared interests we have. It is just so awesome to talk with people who have the same interests as you, as it makes you appreciate it more. I need to spend more time in my online communties.

Hobbies: I have not put much into my hobbies and the things that I really have passion for. This blog is an example, as it has been sometime since I have posted. I need to do that more. I had some great ideas for it, and I have never really allowed them to take off. My Podcasts as well, I have neglected them as well mainly due to work. My main Podcast that I do with my friend Jason, Champodcast, it feels at time I am just putting the minimum into it. The website for it has not changed since we launched, the forums I should be posting more, and more time spent on promoting it. But lately I have just been maintaining instead of building. My other podcast What’s in Jeff’s Basement, I have done nothing in the past year. I promise myself that when I get my basement done, more time will go to it, and I need to keep to that promise. Jason and I are also talking about launching a site for our group of Podcast we are working on, I was thinking about it the other day, but haven’t done anything more on it, I need to get on that.

My collecting has taken a bit of a back seat over the past few months as well. I have picked up a few things, but for the most part, I have really not done much. That is not a bad thing, as that is spending money, but I should probably try and follow it more closely, as even if I am not buying anything, I am still interested in what is released. This upcoming weekend is the annual Edmonton Toy and Collectible show. I have a table again this year, and will be selling a few items. I always enjoy that, mainly for meeting up with fellow collecting friends and talking about the hobby. The scary thing, is that I am considering missing it over work, if I do that, I will regret it. The issues we are working on now seem to be pointing to the toy show weekend for that work to happen. I have to find it in myself to say no to work, and place this Toy Show ahead of what ever demands are there. I think from a general mental health stand point, if I miss this show and doing something I really enjoy, it is going to stick with me for a long time and fester.

Around the House: Last summer I moved into a house. There have been renovation that I have done, but they have taken painfully long to do. My basement is near completion, but for the amount of work, they probably should have been done much sooner. There is still other things to be done, but it seems like I am always putting them off as I am either working or tired from it. Once Spring comes, I also need to get out in the yard and make sure I manage it before it becomes to much, with that, you cannot wait to long.

From the start of this Blog to the end of it, I have found I feel much better. Just writing down some of my feelings and frustrations with where I am right now had been somewhat cathartic. I was not really intending that when I started this, but at least it has helped in that I feel in a better mood to take on what I have today, and to realize that a lot starts with me. Work seems to be the main reason for my troubles, and I have struggled with it in the past. It usually gets over me and pounds me down, probably because I let it.  I guess all one can do is the best they can, and let that speak for itself. Some of the things I worry about, are just not my responsibility. The project I am working on, if it doesn’t get completed on time, that is some one else to deal with. If I look at it simply, if it is not my responsibility, then I should not put any of my energy, effort or worry into it.  For work, things work out the way they work out, for my life, what I truly care about, that is where my attention should be.

Tags: Champodcast, Dave, Jason, Jason L, Rick Moyer, Sharepoint, Tao tao, What's in Jeffs Basement, work

The past month has been so busy, and just now I was able to catch my breathe a bit. I must admit I have been looking forward to this long weekend for awhile, and for the most part because I am not going to do anything special.

The past few weeks have been pretty much devoted to moving. Everything is done, and we are no in our new home. Unfortunately I do not have any pictures yet. Mainly because the house is still a bit disorganized, and I don’t really want to take pictures of rooms with boxes in them. My office is really cluttered right now, and I am hoping I can get it setup a bit better. My family room is very cluttered as well, with boxes and stereo equipment in the middle of it. I took a week off to move, and had about 2 weeks from when I got possession until I had to move out of my old place, and in the end, I really needed all those days.

I was pretty fortunate to get help from my family and my friend Dave to help me move. I rented a truck, to haul boxes and smaller things over to the new house. Also we took the opportunity to throw out old things we no longer needed. A few trips to the dump, and we had things cleaned out, but unfortunately I had forgotten a few things to throw out, so I now have them in my new house. For my furniture, I hired movers to move that. They came, and moved the furniture fairly efficiently, I thought the price was a bit expensive, but at least I did not have to burden anyone with the furniture. My one complaint was that I had to leave a tip, which I was fine with at the time. But when I went back to my townhouse to start cleaning, I walked into the main bedroom bathroom, it smelled really bad. They had gone to the toilet, and never flushed, and also made a real mess on the seat. The smell was really bad, as they closed the door, and it was like that for a day, and the weather was really hot. Took awhile to air out, and turned my stomach to clean. If I had known what they had done, would have never left a tip, as that was just gross. Not sure if it was done on purpose, or not, but really did not appreciate it. All I can really do, is never use that company again, and not recommend to anyone else.

Cleaning my old townhouse took a lot of time as well. Thankfully my mom helped me clean it. We went from top to bottom and did a real good job of cleaning. I try to keep it clean, but there were still areas that were dirty, and with furniture, you can never get to all places. It was a bit tough to do, as I was thinking about my new home, and the things I wanted to do there. I must say after the moving, and the cleaning, and the heat, I was really exhausted. I am not in very good shape, so I need to make more of an effort to get into shape.

On the weekend I went with Paul and Jason to the Rexall Edmonton Indy. It was hot, I drank lots of water, got a sun burn and a lot of walking. All in all it was good. Still not Champ car, but I guess make the best of the situation. Will Power won the race, good to see a Champ car driver get the victory. Paul Tracy was at the race as well, and cool to see him have a good weekend. With all the moving, and things going on in my life, I probably did not get as much out of the race as I would have liked. Also with being so busy, have fallen behind on Champodcast. Jason is busy editing a few shows as well for work, so what was to be our flag ship podcast, will not be, which we feel a bit sad about. But we will try to get a podcast out soon.

I could only take one week off from work, since my co worker was away on Holidays. So this week was fairly busy at work as well. I had a few things to clear up for the house, so I had to push off some requests for overtime early in the week. I still managed to do some later in the week, as I could not get away from it, and look like more next week. I have always been bothered with that, people pushing over the summer for work to be done. I guess business never stops, but I just get the feeling the people pushing, are the ones who then go and enjoy summer, well the rest of us are left to handle their requests. I am probably just complaining, and my situation is a lot better then others.

This week was also the closing on my townhouse. All the cleaning was done, everything moved out, with a big thanks to my parents. There was a bit of drama with that, and will be honest I did not like how things ended with that. There is still a loose string, that might come back to haunt me, but at least it was all done. I am in my new house, and no ties to the old place. So looking forward to unpacking some of those boxes around me.

I did feel a bit embarrassed earlier in the week. Where I live now, they do not deliver mail to the house, but to community mailboxes. The previous owners left the key and the box number. I went all over the neighborhood looking for the box, and could not find one that my key worked in. I went to the post office to ask, and they gave me a phone number to call. I called that and the customer rep told me the box number, but still did not help me. I just needed to know where the mailbox was. I was getting a bit stressed about it. Well I was driving back to the house after going out to dinner with my parents and Tao tao and her Mom, and I jump on the brakes. Coming into my street, there was the mailbox. I jump out, and run over, and voila, my key worked, and a stack of mail. The thing is, I had driven past this mail box every day, and never bothered to notice it. It was literally under my nose. Typical of me, I guess I was looking harder then I needed to.

I am hopeful over the next few weeks that I can get all the boxes unpacked, as there are a few things I still haven’t located. Tao tao and her Mom are going on a trip next week, so I am looking forward to making some progress on things. This evening I cut the lawn for the first time. Bought a Lawnmower the other day, it was the floor model, so got 10 percent off, but cut my fingers up getting it out of the car. I am hoping to maybe start painting some rooms soon as well. If not when they are gone, then in September. Tao tao’s mom goes back to China later in August, so it might be easier then, as I can store some stuff in the room she is sleeping in.

Probably the thing I want to do the most is my toy room, but there is some renovations I must do first, so it has to wait a bit. So I am hopeful I can get on those pretty soon. I have some ideas, so hopefully it can come together.

I must say, this new office is a great experience for me, my old office was very hot, whereas this one is cool and comfortable. I am hopeful that it will allow me to be more productive on my PC and my websites. If I make good progress this weekend, I will take some pictures as well and post them on the site. I am also really looking forward to getting back to my normal routine.

Tags: Champ car, Champodcast, Dave, IndyCar, Jason, Mom and Dad, Paul, Paul Tracy, Rexall Edmonton Indy, Tao tao, Will Power

Here in Canada it is the May (Victoria Day) Long weekend. So far for me it has been pretty full, and still have one more day to go.

On Friday, Tao Tao and I went to the bank after I was done work to send some money to her sister in China. Her sister will buy her Moms plane ticket to come to Canada this summer. Her Mom is looking forward to the trip, but we feel a little sad in that her niece was going to come, but did not get approved. After we went over to Zellers, as I really wanted to get the new Starship Enterprise from the New Star Trek movie. It had been on my mind for the whole week, so after going back and forth in my head, I decided to pick it up. It looks pretty cool, and I will review it for my Collecting Podcast at some point. I was a little upset though, when I got home, I was making room for it, and accidentally broke the stand for one of my other Enterprises. I am usually pretty careful, but I guess this time I was not.

On Saturday, Tao Tao and I went out to my parents cabin at Pigeon Lake. My sister and her husband were out, along with my niece and nephew. my brother and his son, and my parents were also out as well, so it was nice to see the whole family. It was my nephew Ethans belated 5th birthday from last month, so we had a little party. AlsoI helped with moving some logs from the front of the cabin to the back. My parents had some tree’s cut down as they were dead, and we had to move the logs. It was a lot of work, and my arms are feeling a bite tired today.

On Sunday, I woke up, and worked on my computer a bit. The day was not very nice, so a bit of an indoors day. Jason and I recorded our delayed podcast for the Spain F1 race. Hopefully we should have the podcast ready in the next few days, we also talked a bit about the Indy 500 next weekend, Jason DVD Pegwarmers and a bit of Star Trek. Even though it is a racing Podcast, we thought it was alright to break away a bit. After I went over to Dave’s house and he helped me fix my Stand for my Enterprise I had broke earlier in the weekend. Dave had picked up the Star Trek movies on Blu-Ray, and I watched the last half of Star Trek IV, it looked very clear, but you could see the matte lines around the spaceships, but considering the age of the movie, it looked very good.  After I came back and did some work on my podcast collecting site. Also, my friend Dan from Boston showed me some pictures of a base he made for his Enterprise, so it gives me an Idea of making my own base as I have never been happy with the stands that come with them.

I will probably stay up late and watch some more Enterprise on DVD. Ever since I have seen the new Star Trek movie, I have been wanting to watch Trek. My friend Jason sent me a link to a cool Map of the United Federation of Planets. I saved it, as I think it will be cool to reference. I would love to get a maps for Star Trek and Star Wars to hang on the wall, as would be great to reference.

Tags: Champodcast, Dan from Boston, Dave, Enterprise, Ethan, Formula 1, Jason, Long Weekend, Pigeon Lake, Star Trek, Tao tao, United Federation of Planets Map

This week Jasonand I recorded our first podcast for 2009. We had been hoping to do one a lot sooner then we did, and cover the off seasons in Formula 1 and IndyCar, but one thing or another kept us away from it. Truth be told, with the economy, it ended up not being an overly interesting off season anyways. In Formula 1, for the most part, all the major rides were filled, so nothing really to report there. The bigger news was the new cars with the new aerodynamics on them and also the ongoing saga with Honda. In IndyCar, there was more driver movement, but at the end of the day, we were really only interested in Justin Wilson signing with Dale Coyne Racing, Will Power with Penske, Robert Doornbos with Newman Hass Lanigan and the late addition of Ryan Hunter-Reay to (tunnel) Vision. So off season news was not really there to really cover.

Our first podcast was pretty full. We covered the opening two Formula 1 races that saw the newly formed Brawn GP (What was the old Honda Team) dominate. Jensen Button won both races, albeit the Malaysia race was shortened due to a severe rainstorm. There was a bit of Controversy as well with McLaren and the FIA over an incident at Australia which still seem to be lingering. The IndyCars opened at St. Pete on the streets, and Justin Wilson and Dale Coyne racing had a great day, but came up a little short at the end. Jason and I had a lot of fun doing the podcast, and we joked quite a bit, I feel it is one of our better ones. Anyways, if interested, check it out at Champodcast.

Tags: Champodcast, Formula 1, IndyCar, Jason